829 [29 March 2008]

Gentle in this moment,
dark in its taste of despair,
for who shall ever reach out
their hand to take mine,
to make me their own.
Alas, a moment tender
shall never be found,
for that grace
will not find me.

© Johanna Fugitt 2017

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828 Beyond All Things [20 April 2008]

Desperate to awaken,
a heart that longs to love
awaits with breath held
silent,
fearful,
hopeful that what it desires
beyond all things
will become real.

© Johanna Fugitt 2017

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827 [24 December 2007]

It aches inside,
this loneliness,
even though it is something
that I have myself chosen.

© Johanna Fugitt 2017

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826 Not Meant [06 December 2007]

It slowly creeps in,
doesn’t it?
The empty feeling one tries to forget.
Its arms enfold around you
like a lover,
embracing you in the silent despair,
holding you close to the truth
you had hoped to run away from.
The understanding that Fate
has other plans for you,
and not the plans you had hoped
to find.
It clings to you,
pressing upon your will
whispering
in your weakened ear
those things you know must be true:
that you are unworthy of
what you always gaze into the horizon for.
Then you wonder
in the disquiet dark
if you were not meant for that
what were you meant for?

© Johanna Fugitt 2017

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825 This Place [03 December 2007]

I want to burrow within this feeling,
creep deeper into this place I’ve found,
safely ensconced in the slumber of peace
thought lost to me forever.
Can I stay inside your heart, your soul,
within the walls of who you are?
Can I remain in this warmth, this solace,
created by your existence?
Here I may forget that darkness
holding me hostage still.
Please embrace me in your life,
shelter me in the things you are
and I will rest in this place, in this meadow
where the sun shines so bright.

© Johanna Fugitt 2017

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824 Promise [03 December 2007]

This road that I have followed
the path on which I’ve trembled
opens ahead of me once more.
In my gaze it spreads so far ahead,
so many promises, so many possibilities
laid out before me in bright colors
awakens the hope that has slept inside.
I have only to raise my hand to reach out,
to touch its vibrant hues
and I will become painted in similar.
Hesitant to feel that brilliance encompass me,
uncertain if I should at all give in
to the prospect of becoming something more,
chained as I am by my own insecurities.

© Johanna Fugitt 2017

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823 Don’t Want To [01 December 2007]

Don’t want to sleep,
don’t want to dream,
don’t want to see all I desire
come to me within the fantasy,
only to fall away when my eyes open.

© Johanna Fugitt 2017

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822 Shinjitsu [01 December 2007]

It seems my fate is to always exist alone,
by myself, for myself, and only that.
And therein lies the truth,
I want to love but I don’t know how.
I want to belong to someone,
but no one should belong to me.
I should want to see someone,
but they shouldn’t want to see me.
I can want to talk to someone, hear their voice,
but they shouldn’t want the same.
Because I am not worthy to have
someone who wants all of me.
Thus shall I forever want, and long for,
a love that would complete me,
because I can never be whole.

© Johanna Fugitt 2017

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821 If Daydreams [30 November 2007]

If daydreams could come true,
then I’d be the one sitting in your room
while your fingers lovingly caressed
the strings of my heart
If fantasies were granted to those like me,
then I would fall asleep next to you
while you wrote the notes of music
that gently awakened the hope within me.
If visions inside my head were to be real,
then I would be the one to see you as you are,
not as who you are seen as.

© Johanna Fugitt 2017

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820 It’s You [30 November 2007]

It’s you that I want to give my heart to
it’s you that I want to love forever.
It’s you I wish to wake up next to
it’s you I wish to fall asleep next to
it’s you who I long to see
it’s you who I long to see me
it’s your voice I want to hear echo in my head
it’s your smile I want to match with my own.
It’s you I wish to defy fate for
it’s you I wish to find me in the darkness
I knew it before and I know it again
would you forgive me if I told you that
it’s you who awakens the hope within me?
Would you forgive me if I told you that
it’s you who brings the best out in me?

© Johanna Fugitt 2017

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