Wandering along
a silver-gilded river,
seeking, searching,
trying to find him.
The one who
will hold me,
love me endlessly.

The strength
that I do not have
I need in him.
I need him,
his quiet looks,
the way his hair
seems to curl like a baby’s.

I want to wake up
next to him.
To trace his face,
his body,
in the morning light.
To feel his presence
loving, comforting.

I need to feel him,
to know his soul.
Kiss him hard,
love him
without hesitancy.
To learn all his faults,
loving him all the more for them.

So I search.
“If only” and “what if”
sticking to my lips.
My eyes hungering
for a glimpse of him.
My heart gnawing at me
inside to out.

But the question
of his existence
eats at my mind.
If there is such a man,
if he really exists.
So what if he
is not handsome?

But he exists for me.
His tenderness and gentleness
may be a dream,
to anyone but me.
Yet if he is a dream,
and I am not,
then I would sleep forever.