375 My Lover [13 February 2001]

he is with me
wherever I go,
even if he is not with me
in the physical sense.
my love for him grows
as does everything
in this world,
and by now is as tall
as those century-old trees
in the deepest of forests.
it is an unspeakable emotion.
I cannot believe it sometimes
that he is really out there.
all I want to do
is reach out
to touch his cheek
with my hand
to be held in his arms.
to smell him,
hear his heart beat
within his chest
to know how his voice
sounds when he speaks.
I care not what he looks like
be he ten foot tall, or five,
or a huge bear of a man
or as skinny as a pole.
I dare not ever tell him
how I feel,
knowing my luck
he would be gay.
I love him because
he talks to me
and he listens,
I’m certain that being with him
would complete me so much
that at times
I would be overwhelmed
and need to run away
to think it out.
I would love to just gaze
into his eyes,
or hold his hand
as we walk
to be held as we sit
in silence. . .
doing nothing but contemplating
the world as we know it.
I love him like this,
and to see him,
would be to fall so much deeper
than I already am
he would be the culmination
of all I want in love
he would hold me
when I cry
love me
when I need him to.
never would he have to change
who he is
to make me happy,
to love a person
is to love them as they are,
as they change as they grow.
all I want and all I’ve ever wanted
was to belong to someone
to be loved so completely.
it is what I have never had.
I’m spoiled by romances
where everyone finds love.
I know we would have our arguments,
but making up only makes
the love stronger.
I just wish I could find him
waiting on my doorstep.
I wish my lonely existence would end. . .

About taikodragonjkf

Member of Spokane Taiko. Poet. Karaoke singer. Love cats and baseball.
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