383 Always There [24 February 2001]

it’s like he’s here
ever present in my life
in every moment
he’s there with me
everything I see
he does as well
the way he invades my thoughts
how I can see him smile
without seeing him at all
how I can hear his heart beat
in the silence of the night
or the intake of breath
as he sleeps
I cannot explain
any of these emotions raging within
they’re just there
unbidden, forbidden
this feeling is what I have wanted
forever and a day
I let it go
the desire for love
I let it fly away
on wings unbound
confident that one day
it would return
with the bearer of my heart
suddenly he’s there
someone I’ve been talking to
who I’d accepted to be as a friend
because that was all I saw
instead I found perhaps
he’s felt more than he let on
I let him into my deepest soul
and he’s made a home there
revealing his soul to me
I feel that I can leap tall buildings now
run across the world
without stopping
the question that’s in my mind
why him?
halfway across the world from me
so far away
yet I’ve become so close to him
I can hear his voice
in conversations I’ve had by myself
I want to tell him
all I feel inside
yet as certain as I am
I don’t want to lose his touch
the fact I can call him
in the middle of the night
knowing he wants to hear my voice
as well
shall I let myself
fall completely
or should I hold back?
as much as I care for him
my heart stops in fear of cracking
should he chose to throw it
from atop the peak it resides
that fact that I don’t forget him
throughout the course of the day
is something that has
never happened before this
he’s always there
his name ready to be spoken
sitting upon the tip of my tongue
and forever,
no matter what happens
he shall have a place in my heart


© Johanna Fugitt 2017

About taikodragonjkf

Member of Spokane Taiko. Poet. Karaoke singer. Love cats and baseball.
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