388 My Flight [03 March 2001]

there you lie
slumbering peacefully
your face still
a slight smile
turning up the corners
of your mouth
your eyelashes
black against your cheek
I know the color of your eyes
like the back of my hand
though they are closed to me
one arm rests across
your muscled belly
the other thrown
above your head
framing your tousled dark hair
the sheets cover you
to your waist
a line of hair
that begins below your navel
disappears under the edge of the linen
my fingers ache to feel you
to trace the outlines of your face
the lines of your body
I wish to stay here
here with you
curled against your side
my hand resting
on your chest
but alas
I cannot
not now
I must leave
grab that cab
waiting at the curb
waiting
to take me from you
you stir slightly
a sigh filling your lungs
as if you know I’m there
tears fill my eyes
‘til I can’t see clearly
what started out small
has become so large
in my life
that this could kill me
for I leave my heart with you
so that you know
how much I do care for you
and always will
I’ve lingered too long
your eyes opening
to see me crying
in your bedroom doorway
a frown creases your face
your beautiful eyes confused
you sit up and
begin to reach for me
to comfort me
as you always do
I turn and run
slamming the door in my wake
as I flee your presence
an elevator opens
I turn and hit the button
you are there
running after me
barefoot, shirtless,
jeans the only thing
you paused to pull on
I watch you
as the doors close
in your worried face
the ride down, I’m antsy
I run as soon as possible
out the front door
jumping into the waiting cab
you reach the curb
as the car speeds away
confusion rampant on your face
you’ll understand one day
I love you so much
that it scares me
let me go, my love,
if you really love me
and I will come back
and then
will I be yours

 

© Johanna Fugitt 2017

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