I think of him
so many times a day
and I can’t not
never has my heart yearned more
for any other
it’s strange
how his voice echoes
deep inside my soul
like a search has ended
yet something has begun
the path ahead of me
has become unclear
not like it ever was before
but it doesn’t bother me
quite as much
as long as he exists
here in my world
yet still a doubt
within my mind grows
wondering if a man such as he
could ever really love me
if this is it
then let it come
let this love I feel deep inside
grow ‘til it is bigger than I am
let him know that in me
there will always be a friend
that I will always love him
for I feel if he rejects me
like so many before
I will survive
forever remembering his laughter
always believing he was home for me
the only home I’ll ever know
it is hard to let go
of what is inside me
of what grows without boundaries
of what expands daily
I think, if given a choice
I’d probably die for him
I’d run into battle
into enemy fire
if he loved me
half as much as I think
that I love him
all I want in life now
is to be where he is
where he breathes
where he sleeps
I keep on thinking
that he deserves more
that I will never
be enough

© Johanna Fugitt 2017