412 My Life [01 June 2001]

everyday I wish
that things had gone so very differently
but love is like a river
always changing
always moving on
I believe that some part of me
will always love him
no matter how far we ever grow apart
distance will never matter in this game of fools
I was naïve
hoping for something that was never really possible
but then impossible things sometimes can be overcome
so within the future there is some possibility
but I will not live hoping that it will happen
no, I will go on
a piece of my heart
resides with him still and always will
no matter how far away I seem
it is a strange and bittersweet reality I have awakened to
but one that I take to with gusto
a smile on my face
a dream in my heart
hope within my soul
I greet the sun with my life
the way I live it and the happiness I have
forever will his life have touched mine
I can never lose that
it is not by someone’s past you judge them
it is how they have chosen to live in the present
with what they have learned from the past
so sadly do I gaze into his eyes
slowly do I push him away
my heart aching but optimistic
for he was never the one for me
that man is still out there
but no longer will I search
the hidden highways online
he will be right here one day
a man of flesh and blood
instead of words and imagination
I still do wonder where he is
how he is doing
but my world does not revolve around his anymore
my world never should have
even when I fall madly in love
my life should be mine
not an extension of his
so I smile to myself as I write this
my heart amazingly happy
for a life so lonely for love
but I will survive it
I always do and I always will . . .

 

© Johanna Fugitt 2017

About taikodragonjkf

Member of Spokane Taiko. Poet. Karaoke singer. Love cats and baseball.
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