the irony of my whole life
is that I’ve always been different
lived differently
loved differently
it makes sense to me at least
that love would find me
in a way that is different
from the way it usually comes
it would not find me in the sun
nor would it find me in night
it wouldn’t find me at the first sight
or a physical relationship that blooms
after years of waiting
no, my love did not go that way
it came gradually
with a man who lives far away
whose words reach me
from across the sea
on the screen
of technology’s latest miracle
his voice I hear
through a phone line
buried beneath the ocean’s waves
yet clear as if he was next to me
whose life is a bit different than mine
yet close enough
that we have things in common
things we can relate to
my love would come unexpectedly
as everything else does in my life
to be honest
I never thought he would be
anything beyond a friend
it still could be that way
but since when does a friend
stick in your mind
from morning to night
in dreams as well
I have seen his form
but have not touched his face
when he stands in front of me
I will not know what to do next
whether to give him a hug
or to gaze deeply in his eyes
should I do what I feel
and kiss his lips?
or touch his cheek
with the palm of my hand?
or should I do it at all?
should I wait for him
to initiate?
to be sure my feelings
are reciprocated
I don’t know
but fortunately I have time
time before he actually
steps off the plane
that brings him to me

© Johanna Fugitt 2017