In the mystery of the night,
I found my purpose
not of scholarly intent
or physical journey.
My path was made clear.
An absence of you
made all the difference.
When all I could dream
was your breath against my skin,
or all I could smell
was the essence of your presence,
I knew then what a terrible road awaits me.
Never shall I know of anything
like that I knew of you.
My road is clear of such distractions
unheeded but desperately desired.
Forks in my path,
where in one direction,
you with your hand outstretched,
as if to guide mine own.
Only do you disappear
when I try to follow,
like the mirage of an oasis
on the desert horizon.
Knowledge of a life alone
permeates my existence
as always and forever more,
shall I march along an abandoned road.
No one to guide me,
none to shelter me from the storms.
So then which direction do I choose?
The desert with the promise of love,
or the dry, easy, open road,
leading straight on towards my rightful destiny?
The open road then is what I must follow,
for your love will always be beyond reach.
A life alone I shall always have . . .
© Johanna Fugitt 2017