I am still here.
Still waiting amid the chaos of each passing day.
My emotions seem to be a prelude to
Others finding their own happiness.
I do not deign to claim responsibility,
Just wonder and awe that those I wish for
Seem to find what it is I seek for myself.
But then I do only wish for their happiness.
Still do I await the day when even a tiny bit
Might meander my way,
Blessing me with the knowledge
of what love is truly like.
I may not know what life is,
But I know death.
For each day that I live,
Is another day that I die a little more.
I am still here.
I am still alone.
Locked between hope and reality,
Gazing out into a world full of people,
Only able to see that I still seek
What others seem to find.
I cannot stop the impending tide of sorrow
That floods the plains of my solitude
Each time I see others fall into their destiny.
If only a little would splash upon me,
Perhaps drowning me in what I desire.
Maybe then I would be happy.
Yet still I am here, alone.

© Johanna Fugitt 2017