I wander in dreams
desperate to see the face
that no longer haunts.
Gone is the promise,
destroyed by the ugliness
living inside the flesh.
The body that shows
just how disgusting
the truth is within.
The choice presented itself,
unconscious, or not,
too far along the path
to ever think of going back.
even if I could.

The softness in the eyes,
the kindness of touch,
the sweet lingering scent,
all will remain unknown.
The path of darkness
keeps me still,
mirrors reflecting the cold,
the bitterness,
the despair.

Where once wings
took me across the dreamscape
soaring over golden fields,
emerald glades,
sapphire lakes no longer,
beneath the waves of
a malevolent ocean.
I pull myself under,
no foreign hand
dragging my legs behind them.
Sinking I gaze sorrowful,
watching the fading light,
the sky no longer captured
in the reflection of
the water that engulfs me.
I reach towards the surface,
a lingering hope drowning
as I cannot break free.

© Johanna Fugitt 2017