In the vast deep of my mind,
I see myself in what I thought
I never would have wanted.
Yet, it is also what I
have always wanted to have.
I want to see a bond born
just as it always has
between man and woman.
I want to be the partner,
the support, the coach,
and certain am I
that will never happen.
In those positions opposite of me,
all I see is his face, his form.
In the corners of my mind,
I want to see him there,
for some unwanted emotion
is attached whether I want it to be
or whether I don’t.
I cry to those who control fate
to those who speak and things change,
wanting another face to use,
for he can never be mine.
I already know that truth.
Send someone else, someone real,
as real as he is,
for I’ve had far too many
of the imaginary entrapments.

© Johanna Fugitt 2017