the more I live
is one moment
that I don’t have you
you speak to me in dreams
show me all who you are inside
yet I cannot find you
in the realm of the real
I turn to see
blind to everything
nonsensical to the core
lost to everything logical
wishing for silver wings
to lift me above
these human worries
wanting to soar the skies
my only worry is my next kill
so desperately do I need you
that all I have is the fantasy world
to take me away
instead of your arms
to enfold me away
I’ve lost all sense of touch,
scent, taste, sight, sound,
from lack thereof
I’m blind, deaf, mute,
all alone
left to myself
to looking to the skies
hoping to morph
into my silver dragon
free of all mortal worries
free of this constant ache for you
a person I don’t even know
yet want so much to
maybe you could be my savior
or just a friend
but you would be there
for right at this moment
you are not
shall I give up
live my life alone
focusing only on success
when all I have ever wanted
since the birth of my existence
was to be apart of you. . .

© Johanna Fugitt 2017