In his eye
A strange sort of future exists
One where I am with him
If only it was so
If only I could give up everything
To be with him
And if only I knew he
Would be the one for me.
But I can’t.
I said to myself today
I know where I’m supposed to be
And my mind immediately
Inserted another line next to it
That said to me
‘Right next to him.’
And it startled me,
I didn’t really want that,
Or did I?
And how could you feel something
For someone so much?
How can one person feel this
For somebody without them
Feeling something in return?
The hug goodbye he gave me
Was enough to tell me
That there was something
However small
But we have to go somewhere
But I have something I have to do
I have somewhere I have to go
And unfortunately,
This time I have to give him up.
The first one I don’t want to give up
But then again giving up is easy for me.
I don’t have to try so hard
I don’t have to stretch my horizons
I don’t have to let somebody in
I can close the door once more.
I’m such a fool
Anyhow, I love him
I didn’t want to
There’s a line from one of the poems
I wrote about him
That says the moment he said
He felt like he knew me
The universe realigned itself to revolve around him
Everything realigned itself to include him in my life.
And now what do I do?

© Johanna Fugitt 2017